Hurry Up and Wait

Ordered a Vitamin D test for Babykins from ZRT Lab.  It’s a blood-spot test that can be sent in to them.  Easier than trying to get her pediatrician to order the test, and even if he did, it’s easier than having blood drawn the traditional way.  She currently drinks lots of milk and plays outside for a couple hours a day.  If her vitamin D is low (according to Kruse) it would indicate that her body isn’t producing enough progesterone (like me).  This will be interesting.

I miss my CT.  Woke up the last 2 nights at about 4AM all hot and sweaty.  It’s kind of like my body has gotten used to producing a lot of heat and now doesn’t know what to do with it.  What I don’t miss the last 2 days is the time drain of the cold baths.  It’s amazing how precious an hour is to me now.  I’m not sure I’m going to stop CT altogether – maybe I’ll just cut back on the number of days I do it.  For now, though, the tub is drained and the freezer is defrosting.  Definitely on a break.

My plan is to find a doc as soon as I can and get a sense for how long I have before labs are done.  I’d really like to see Kruse’s webinar on hormones…still not able to access it.  He said in it are things you can ask your doctor to make sure they’re right for you.  It was a holiday yesterday…no tech support available.  So I should just chill.  Hopefully today.  After a lifetime of killing myself with diet and lifestyle, I want to fix this NOW.

I didn’t mention yet some of the stuff Kruse discussed during our consult.  After reviewing my family history he said, “If I were talking to your sister right now, this would be a much different conversation.”  He implied that with her autoimmune problems and Hashimoto’s, given our family history, she’s not going to live long. I saw her over the weekend, for the first time in several months.  She told me her hair is still falling out, even though she’s had her thyroid removed and is now taking supplements.  It made me really sad to hear him say that.  Like I said, though, he pulls no punches.

Also emotional for me was thinking about my mom.  It’s become very hard for me to visit her.  She’s been depressed and anxious as long as I can remember…but it’s getting worse.  I can tell she doesn’t challenge herself with anything anymore.  She doesn’t seem to have original ideas anymore, and her speech seems to be getting slower to me.  She is looking old and tired.  I had a heart-to-heart with my parents after finding Kruse and starting the Leptin Reset.  I shared with them everything I was learning about how fat doesn’t actually make you fat…about how carbs are really the enemy.  My dad seemed interested…my mom seemed defensive.  That tub of margarine in the refrigerator is symbolic to me of the fat-free mentality that is now impossible to permeate.  She does the shopping.  Kruse said that my dad probably had good genes, based on his family history, but living with my mom’s fat-free high-carb lifestyle has affected his health. My mom would never hurt anyone.  It all just sucks.

The only thing I can do that might help is get healthy.  Then I’ll have credibility and they might listen.

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