Stepped on the scale today…and now I’m up to 195. Awesome.
Gary Taubes’ book, Why We Get Fat changed how I think about gaining weight. I no longer sit around and blame myself for eating too much (well, I do a little, but less than I used to), even though there’s no doubt I’m eating more now than 6 months ago (hence the weight gain). The thing is, my appetite is greater now. The real question is “Why?” What caused my appetite to grow?
Whatever. I started researching to find cool links to provide alternate hypotheses to the conventional wisdom…but I just don’t wanna. I don’t have the energy or the motivation right now to be thorough and attempt to educate the masses. Let’s face it – My brain is screwed up. I do notice that when I’ve been eating carbs it’s hard to stop. Also, stress and lack of sleep make me want to eat more. So even without a PhD. in Biochemistry I know I should get more sleep and rearrange my life so it’s less stressful. Check and check…working on both.
I try to stick with a ketogenic diet…over and over…and I keep failing to do it. It’s kind of stupid…like yesterday I ate in a ketogenic manner all day and at about 10:00PM my husband asked me if I wanted a cracker. So I ate about 15 of them. Huh? Why? I wasn’t even hungry.
Alcohol is counterproductive when attempting to follow a ketogenic diet. I stop drinking alcohol for a few days at a time and then I drink again. I’m not an alcoholic. I just like drinking. In the face of stress it makes me feel better. I’m obviously not very good at calming myself without the use of chemical agents. Again it’s back to stress. I have fantasies that after we move and I’m not working full time anymore (I’ll still be working part time – already lined up) I’ll be able to get enough sleep and have time to do things that are relaxing and fun like reading or seeing people that I care about.
This move to California has been very educational. Leaving one’s comfort zone is often the highly touted route to “your real life” or to real happiness, joy, and fulfillment. That’s stupid. I haven’t had a comfort zone for 5 months now and my health is worse, I’ve aged myself inside and out, I’m poorer financially, and I’m less happy. If I see another one of these on Facebook I’m going to comment, “Yeah? Prove it.”
Go screw yourself, Facebook.