I’ve been lacking an interest in writing.  When I get like that I find a bullet list to be the best way to express myself.  It requires minimal effort in the area of smooth transitioning.

  • I am within 1 pound of my highest weight ever.  Yup, I’ve gained 7 pounds in the last month.  I attribute this to any or all of the following factors.  (Prepare for sub-bulleting.)
    • High insulin level from eating carbohydrates
    • Increased emotional eating related to emotional unrest stirred up from marital dischord and also discovering EFT/Tapping.
    • Taking hydocortisone for 2 months.

I honestly don’t know which of those is the main factor but if I had to guess I’d say it’s high insulin.  My eating patterns haven’t changed significantly in the last month – I mean, not 7 pounds worth.  I think I need to get off the carbs ASAP.  I’ve stopped taking hydrocortisone – like 2 weeks ago – and the trend upward has continued, so I don’t really know if that played a role here.  Regarding the emotional shit, yes I guess it’s possible that I’m just plain eating more, but it doesn’t feel like it.  I really don’t eat all that much without being hungry.  I guess tracking what I eat is also in order at this point.

  • The EFT/Tapping has been helping me emotionally.  At first there was some emotional upheaval as some old unresolved emotional crap came to the surface, but then I found Robert Smith, an EFT teacher and practitioner, who recommends tapping “until it’s gone or until you pass out.” Since I’ve been following his method I’m not walking around all open and wounded feeling anymore – I tap on things longer until the emotional crap is gone.  I actually feel quite emotionally stable right now.
  • I was starting to exercise a couple of weeks ago, and then I sprained my ankle.  I let that get the best of me, and I stopped.  I guess I’ll be starting that again, ankle or no ankle.
  • Came across this study over the past week, which indicates that gut bacteria will eat the lining of the intestine when starved of fiber.  HOLY CRAP.  This was a light bulb moment.  This explains why my ability to tolerate histamine has dramatically dropped over the past 4-6 months – the critters are eating my fucking intestine and probably my DAO enzymes while they’re at it.  I tried to eat a small piece of an apple this week – a small attempt at increasing fiber in my diet. Felt shitty the next day, even with the serotonin drops.  I would have felt worse without them, I’m sure.  So still, no fiber for me.
  • I have started taking L-Glutamine again in the last week, as that really seemed to help me previously with my intolerance to histamine.  I also got some more colostrum but haven’t started taking that again yet.
  • My blood pressure is not well controlled.  When my weight goes up, blood pressure goes up too.  Considering going back on a beta blocker, despite the side effects, so I don’t stroke out.
  • I’m not doing great.  I think exercise is a key piece that needs to get in place and become part of my life.  Part of what is involved here is making time for that, and prioritizing myself and my own needs.  EFT/Tapping has made it clear to me that I’m not very good at that.  Tapping has also made me very aware that I’m spending a LOT of hours of the day doing things I don’t care about, and then I’m rushing during the rest of the day to fit in all the stuff I do care about.  It needs to change. Like this.
  • I’m just not sure how to do that yet.

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