Let the Healing Begin

I quit my full-time job.  Friday was my last day.

As I lay in bed meditating the next morning I realized that the stress of my job had nothing to do with overwhelming responsibilities, or being busy, or the commute, or obnoxious coworkers…it was the social interaction.  It was having to talk to people all the time.  My whole life I’ve been fighting against the part of me that is quiet and doesn’t feel like talking much.  I’ve learned to look like an outgoing person when I need to – to make appropriate small talk and to be a good listener, to share just enough about myself but not too much.  I’m not a natural when it comes to unwritten social rules, so believe me when I say they took years to learn.

So now that I’m not working I can turn off the act.  I don’t have to be that person anymore – lighting up like a Christmas tree when someone walks into my office.  I should mention that I really love people.  However, my job was in Human Services.  I was constantly having to talk to people and often wade through socially uncertain waters.  But no more.

So many health conditions are related to stress.  What might happen when I’m only doing work I like and that feeds my soul and makes me proud of who I am?  I kind of can’t wait to see.  I’ll also be focusing on more meditation, more movement, more red light, more cooking and less compromising on food quality.  So I expect this to be the start of a very positive change.

Here’s something interesting.  I can eat anything now – well, I haven’t tested everything, but a whole lotta things.   The only thing is, I need to take 2 Culturelle probiotics per day.  If I take 2 a day I have no intolerances.  Isn’t that interesting?

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5 thoughts on “Let the Healing Begin

  1. Yes, it is interesting. I can relate to your need for less people…less noise. As an art teacher for years, the constant constant ate away at my reserves, without me even realizing it, coupled with the guilt of “how could ‘playing’ with rooms full of elementary children not be fun?!”. Eventually, acute illness took me out of the workforce. Lyme was the final straw, layered over years of stress induced imbalance. I’m back now, part time in a very small setting, on my terms, remembering why it was I had chosen my profession in the first place. Today is Monday. I awoke to a crystalline snow covered landscape, with nothing more pressing to do than photograph it. Well, I could have dug into home cleaning chores and such….but the point is, slowing the pace and having choice makes all the difference. I also think that’s why I appreciate your occasional postings; the fun of an anonymous pen pal without pressure. 🙂

  2. Oh my gosh, this could have been written about me, ” I’ve learned to look like an outgoing person when I need to – to make appropriate small talk and to be a good listener, to share just enough about myself but not too much. I’m not a natural when it comes to unwritten social rules, so believe me when I say they took years to learn.” I love people too but am not good at juggling a bunch of friends. I do best with friends that don’t expect constant contact. My awakening began in high school when I realized what my problem was. I suspect that I have mild aspergers or ADD that hinders my social skills that others don’t even have to think about. I have a nephew who is autistic and a daughter and niece who I suspect with aspergers. I’m pretty in tune with how others are feeling but find it exhausting to constantly have to tune in. Now that I’m no longer working, life is less stressful. I’ve come to accept that I can’t be a social butterfly and I’m ok with that. I try to practice compassion for myself and not beat myself up when I fall short. Kudos to you for recognizing this about yourself! I am not suggesting that this is what you are dealing with as I know we are all different. Just wanted to share my reality.:)

  3. Thanks for the comments, Susie and Christe! I wonder too about the mild Aspergers…I had much more trouble making friends, making eye contact, and fitting in socially my whole life.

  4. I have been following a site on Facebook called autism redefined. And she (Michaela Holden) has a theory on autism :
    “Recent research has linked people who evolve with adaptations for colder weather and increased inherited famine genetics / High Inflammation genetics, to increased risk of inflammatory diseases, including, Depression, Anxiety, Autism, ADHD, MS, allergic reactions, Dyslexia, Alzheimer’s disease & Dementia, addiction & numerous Cancers.

    If you or a family member have these symptoms please look at the short videos and posts on my page Autism Redefined and share it with anyone who may benefit. I am putting together a plan which can identify which genes put people at the highest risk and how to use natural steps, with little cost to prevent and reverse these symptoms.”

    This is the study she bases this hypothesis on:
    http://www.ucdmc.ucdavis.edu/publish/news/newsroom/12807
    “ Immune system and gastrointestinal deregulation linked with autism “

    I feel like a lot of what she says makes sense even though most of it is over my head (haha). And I also don’t like eye contact except with those I’m close to! Hang in there!

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