New Beginnings

Don’t have a lot of time to write today.  Started hormones yesterday.  Feel better already!  (<– not really…. looking forward to it though.)   I wonder if there’s a “getting used to it” period that has to be endured?

Over the past week or two I’ve been handling my diet in a sort of sloppy manner – eating some cheese, drinking some wine (at least it was the highly touted Malbec, but I’m not supposed to be drinking any right now.  Dr. K. said.), eating snacks.  I really wanted to eat pizza on Saturday…the lowest of the low days…but I didn’t.  Instead I ate a lot of nuts, which also aren’t great for me.

I feel like I’m getting a fresh start today, having just started the BHRT.  It was discouraging doing so much “right” for so long with no results…hence my slipping with the diet protocol.  Now that there’s actually hope that something might change I feel motivated to tighten things up again.

BAB this morning:  Grassfed beef and pastured eggs cooked in coconut oil.

Dr. K. says to get your seafood in early in the day.  Maybe I’ll go eat some canned clams (that’s what we’ve got here in landlocked Illinois).

Have a great Monday.

Moving Forward

Only have a few minutes to write today…

…so here’s what’s going on.

The PA finally responded…said the delay was someone else’s fault.  Hm…a pattern emerging?  Anyway…her reaction to my labs:  “Everything is really low.”  So she’s ordering me up some hormones from a mail-order pharmacy in Indiana today.  All signs point to my cycle not starting anytime real soon.  Lately I’m a moody crazed mess right before, so chances are I’ll get the hormones in the next couple days and be able to start this month!  Very exciting.

In unrelated medical news I had a blood draw this morning – a liver profile and a lipid panel – ordered by my PCP.  I have a pap this week.  Normally I like to put those off, being as icky as they are, but after Kruse told me I was at risk for ovarian cancer I went ahead and made an appointment.  It’s been a year since my last one.  The labs were ordered because she doubts the wisdom of my choice to abandon my Lipitor.  I guess I’ll withstand the tongue lashing on Friday in order to get some insurance-paid labs done.

I’ve been reading Sex, Lies, and Menopause in my (little) free time. Actually had a half hour to read today while waiting for the lab draw.  The book is written by T.S. Wiley, the creator of the Wiley Protocol – the BHRT system upon which I’m about to embark.  She says the same things Kruse does, about artificial light and fake food causing hormonal disruption.  She focuses much more on the evolutionary benefits of women’s natural biological tendencies, which we (or course) screw up by getting jobs and waiting till we’re 40 to procreate.  It’s hard to read this without feeling guilty…I’ve obviously done everything wrong.   I felt that way after my consult with Kruse too.  Then I remind myself I am a product of my environment and my society.  Now that I know better, I’m going to do better.

Yesterday I ate my BAB at 6:30AM and then got hungry for lunch around 2:30PM – 8 hours later.  I’m going to do the same thing again today…no eating lunch till I’m hungry.  Hopefully that’ll be around 4, and then I’ll be done eating for the day after 2 meals.  Definitely an improvement.  I remember a couple months ago thinking it was great that I could go 6 hours without eating.  In my pre-Paleo life I was hungry every couple hours or so.  8 hours is awesome.

BAB today: grass fed beef, 2 eggs fried in coconut oil, hot water with a dollop of coconut oil in it.

N=1 Continued, Plus Some Good Stuff

#$&*%*& computer…

Why would my computer suddenly become doggedly slow…just in the last 2 days?  Stupid automatic updates…

Oh hi!

Ok, because my computer decided it was in charge this morning, I only have 6 minutes in which to report my many emotions, successes, and failures today, in relation to the Leptin Rx, CT, and Paleo lifestyle on which this blog is based.  Oh crap…now I only have 5 minutes because I wasted a whole minute writing that sentence.

CT last night rocked –  30 minutes at 50 deg F.  I would have stayed in longer, but I didn’t have time – had to put babykins to bed, and some things I just don’t want to miss.  Yesterday as she was lying in the dark trying to sleep she told me about her day.  “Playground…sandbox…swings…fun…kids…eggs…cottage cheese…”  She makes it all worth it.  Anyway…CT.  So it felt GREAT yesterday.  Yay!  I love that!  And I needed it because the last two baths were not so fun.  Also yesterday I had a cool experience.  I wasn’t hungry at all.  All day!  I wasn’t hungry before meals but ate anyway, because if I miss a meal I don’t get another opportunity to eat for a long time.  But lunch and dinner were on the lighter side.  My BAB yesterday was 10 (yes 10) ounces of grass-fed beef (in the form of a roast), and 1 TBS coconut oil melted in hot tea.  It lasted me all day and was wonderful.

Here’s something else cool…take a look at my fasting blood glucose numbers:

This morning I was back to the 80s again.  Love that!  I hope my glucometer is accurate, but even if it’s not, the trend shows great improvement over the past few months.  Interesting how it spiked again when I started CT.  I love science!

Off to work.


CT last night was 30 minutes submerged at 57 deg F.   The 1-liter bottles were left in for 1.5 hours this time instead of 1 hour.  They still didn’t melt completely though, leaving the water in the bottles colder than the tub water, so again I poured the water into the tub.  It was 64 deg to start, then down to 59 just from the bottles filled with ice, and then down to 57 with the cold water poured from the bottles.  I had a hat and wool gloves on throughout, and my hands worked fine at the end, so I think that really helped preserve core body temp.  I suppose I could actually take my temps before and after.  Maybe today.

I notice the best BAB for me is 8-9 oz. of wild-caught salmon and pastured eggs fried in coconut oil.  I always feel great after I eat this in the morning.  I need to find a good recipe for salmon though.  Currently I’m baking it at 425 deg for 12 minutes, which works really well…but it’s bland.  I wonder how to season salmon so it’s delicious?  You know, minus everything that tastes great in the nightshade family…so no peppers, cayenne, onions, as well as no dairy.  I’ll have to do some recipe research.

Started taking DIM and Calcium D-Glucarate today to address problems with estrogen dumping from CT.  Yesterday I was feeling a little hormonal.  Not terrible, but there were a couple times I got angry at people and was lacking my usual ability to refrain from saying anything.  I wasn’t yelling at anyone, but when hormones are high I simply can’t say nothing at all.  That’s where I was yesterday.  On the hormonal 1-10 scale (yes, I’m using 1-10 now…1-3 simply wasn’t adequate…) I was a 5.  A bit weepy and a bit pissed off.  So a 5.

I’m really liking using Cronometer to calculate the nutrients in my diet.  It’s got lots of cool graphs and other visuals so you can see exactly where you’re falling short.  I’m going to go there now to enter my breakfast.

Results for just breakfast today:

  • Calories: 778..8
  • Protein: 75.4grams
  • Carbs: 4.1g
  • fat: 50g

I love data.

More Plans

I’ve started Project Empty Freezer.  We’ll be eating salmon and chicken this week.

In addition to the plans outlined in the previous post, I’ll be doing the following, for at least a while, maybe longer:

  • Keeping data on my moods at the end of each day, using a 0-3 Likert-type scale (e.g., 0 = terrible mood, depressed, crying, arguing with people, while 3 = great mood, feeling high on life, that kind of thing.) I’m doing this to collect baseline data so I have some objective information when the time comes to address my hormonal problems.
  • Tracking what I eat.  I’m not going to be obsessive about this, and I’m not going to be counting calories or grams of anything.  I really just want to see what makes me feel good and what doesn’t make me feel good.

So I’ll be starting these things today, in addition to the variables I already track (fasting blood glucose, weight, and various labs periodically).

I’m happy to be home and back into my routine today.  Had a BAB of sirloin steak and eggs sauteed in coconut oil.

During travel yesterday I was doing some reading on Dr. Kruse’s forum and blog, and I’ve been reminded that I have a fat storage problem, most likely related to my hormones being out of balance. I do NOT have a character flaw that involves being a pig and eating too much.  I’m doing the best I can to address it, but it’s going to take a while to fix this.  I’m learning as I go.

Here are some things I’ve learned lately that I’ve been pondering:

1.  Colder is better.  Much more happens when you CT at temps below 60.

2.  Emotions are chunks of chemicals swimming around together.  When these chemicals have been stored in fat and are released, or when any emotional reaction strikes out of the blue, it’s again NOT a character issue.  This is your body reacting to a chunk of chemicals.  It’s important to stop adding judgment to it.

3.  I’m never going to be able to do what other people do.  The sooner I accept this the better.  I spend a certain amount of time wondering why I can’t eat what my husband eats and still feel good…why I can’t take the easier way out, just one day, and get away with it.  I just can’t.  I don’t get to eat carbs.  I feel like crap when I eat them.  End of story.

Off to work this morning.

Thank you, to those of you that stop by to read this.  You make me feel like I have partners in my quest for health.  I really appreciate you.


Heading home tomorrow morning.  I know how things fell apart while I was traveling.


They did have a breakfast buffet here at the hotel, but it was comprised of reconstituted eggs and some poor-quality salty nitrate-laden meat, as well as many other things I wouldn’t even consider eating (fruit, yogurt, bread, etc.).  I ate what I could, and tried to eat a lot in the mornings, but it just didn’t taste good…and it didn’t feel good.  I felt tired and depressed every morning after eating breakfast.  I wonder if there was some kind of wheat or corn in those reconstituted eggs…

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to getting back to my regular routine.  With a few changes.

  • Progesterone Cream: I’ve decided to continue with the progesterone cream for the rest of this menstrual cycle.  At that point I would normally stop using it for a week anyway.  I’m just not going to start it up again.  I want to let my body find its natural baseline (or whatever baseline it’s at with CT and Leptin Rx).
  • Medical Attention:  I’m in the process of identifying a doctor that can help me with what I’m certain are hormonal problems.
  • CT:  I’m going to find a way to do 50 degree baths.  The first thing I’m going to do when I get home is take all of the food out of our freezer and move it to the fridge.  We’re going to be using the freezer now for freezing ice.  I don’t buy in bulk so I don’t really need to use the freezer much.  I may have to shop more, but that’s ok.  I’m going to start by getting as many 1-liter bottles of water into the freezer at once as I can, and see how much they’ll cool down the tub.  Baths will continue at 5-6 times a week, as I was doing before I left on this trip.
  • Supplements:  I’m going to start using DIM, Calcium D-Glucarate, and Mangensium Threonate.  The first two are to help control the messed up estrogen dump I’ve been experiencing when I use the colder water, and the Mag is to address inflamation and do other good things I can’t remember at the moment.
  • Diet: I’m going to be focusing on following a strict ketogenic Paleo diet.  Very few carbs.  No dairy.  No nightshades.
  • Exercise: It’s time to start lifting.

Have to go for now…others waiting to use the hotel’s ‘puter.

Current Mission: Getting Colder

Had CB #16 yesterday and CB #17 today.  Yesterday the water was in the low 60’s for 35 minutes – hadn’t yet set up the freezer and ice yet.  Today’s was 57 for 30 minutes.  I won’t bore you with the details, but to get it even that low required carrying 40 pounds of ice (5 frozen gallons of water) up and down the stairs several times.  Whew.  I guess this counts as “lifting heavy things.” We’re tweaking the ice-in-the-tub plan, but suffice it to say I’ll be lifting lots of heavy water jugs this summer.

New developments:

  • I now wear my favorite hat every time I do CT. It’s a super warm fleece hat I used to wear taking the train around Chicago. It really makes a difference.  If part of you is warm, you just don’t feel as cold.  Plus it maintains the core body temp, which is important…you know, for survival and all…
  • I got tired of watching Ruby during CT.  She’s really lovable and all, but a little Ruby goes a long way.  Now I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy – from the start of Season 1.  I’ve never seen it before and always heard good things.  It’s perfect – each show is about 40 minutes long – just long enough to prepare, soak, and towel off for a CT session.
  • In an effort to start dropping pounds, I’m taking a break from my coconut manna.  And I don’t really notice a big difference in my hunger.  I find that I get much hungrier if I skimp on protein than if I cut back some of the extra fat.  I’m still eating fat, don’t get me wrong…just not with a spoon.  I’m also loading up more broccoli and mushrooms – both are good for managing extra estrogen in the system.
  • I find that I really look forward to my cold baths now.  I never dread it, and some days (like today) I just can’t wait.  It’s really kind of odd, because when I’m actually in the tub I’m definitely a clock-watcher…looking forward to getting out.  There’s something about it though that is oddly addictive.

Have I mentioned how much I love my BAB in the morning now?  It really is the key to my physical well being these days.  The out of control wanting-to-snack feeling I had a couple days ago when I didn’t have the BAB was a significant reminder to me…I used to feel that way every day.  I hated it.  And back in those days I blamed myself for it.  Now I believe that so much of what we do and what we eat is ruled by physiology, by biological processes – not by character flaws or by will power.  The fact that i didn’t think once about snacking today has NOTHING to do with my emotions.  I was as emotionally unstable today as I am most days.  But I didn’t feel like eating.  “Emotional Eaters” everywhere: Eat a big breakfast.  It’s magical.